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5 Mistakes Parents Should Avoid In The Recruiting Process
Definitely some truths here.....
As far as I know, when a child is born, he or she doesn’t come with an instruction manual. There is no iron clad, perfected method to raising children. Occasionally, it is trial and error and certainly some decisions are made with the best of intentions, but they just don’t work out. If your child is a competitive athlete going through the recruiting process, there are even more decisions that have to be made. How much practice is too much practice? How much should you push your athlete? Which team should he/she be on? Throw all this on top of school, dating, peer pressure, etc. and being a high school athlete or the parent of an athlete can be a challenge. Given that fact, here are five common mistakes that parents of athletes should avoid.
Don’t try to evaluate your athlete’s talent
Most parents believe they can be objective about their children. This is simply not true. Ask your kid or their coach! They probably have a better handle on how they stack up than you do. Parents need to find an objective source to evaluate their child’s strengths and weaknesses and to give them honest feedback. If you don’t have an honest evaluation of your athlete’s talents, then the college recruiting process is going to be frustrating and disappointing. This is probably the biggest disconnect in college recruiting. Parents and athletes need to realize that participating in intercollegiate sports, at any level, is an incredible accomplishment. NCAA Division I is not the only option!
The most important reason to go to college is to get an education. Many parents and athletes tend to get caught up in the excitement of college recruiting and occasionally overlook this simple fact. The experience of college athletics and the life lessons learned will help when pursuing a career in medicine, engineering, law, education and many other fields, but they have to get their degree first. The chance of your athlete playing professionally is slim.
Here is a dose of reality on becoming a professional athlete. These are the percentages of high school seniors that will go on to play their sport professionally:
Football: 0.08%
Men’s Basketball: 0.03%
Women’s Basketball: 0.03%
Baseball: 0.50%
Looks like about 1 in 3,000. The message here is not to give up the dream, but just to make sure your son or daughter has an education as a backup plan.
Don’t spend the college fund trying to find a scholarship
In today’s society, well-meaning parents spend thousands of dollars every year on select teams, skills coaches, camps, showcases and personal recruiters. Parents need to evaluate every dollar they spend on these items. Many of them are beneficial, but college recruiting doesn’t have to be expensive. Your athlete doesn’t have to be on THE BEST team. They need to be a on a team where they have an opportunity to play, the coaching is good and the schedule puts them in front of as many college coaches as possible. Parents should also be strategic when selecting camps and showcases. Be sure the camps they will be attending will have coaches from schools your athlete is interested in pursuing. Finally, thousands of dollars can be saved by student athletes being proactive in college recruiting. A personal recruiter is an expensive luxury, not a necessity. All parents should understand how recruiting works before making financial commitments to their son/daughter’s own recruiting process.
Don’t expect your athlete’s coach to do all the work
For the most part, high school coaches are paid to be full time teachers or administrators, and receive a small supplement for their added coaching responsibilities. Their time is taken. Many do a great job of promoting and guiding athletes, but it is not their responsibility to find a scholarship for their players. Most coaches will help, but student athletes need to make it as easy for them as possible. The athlete needs to do the legwork. Give the coach a short list of realistic colleges, the contact information for the coaching staff and a resume of academic and athletic accomplishments.
Don’t be a Helicopter Parent
HEL·I·COP·TER PAR·ENT: noun informal --- a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children
That’s right! The term helicopter parent is now a noun! If you are a parent and you have to justify why you are so involved in your athlete’s career, you might be a helicopter parent. If you think you know more than your kid’s coach and constantly scrutinize your athlete’s performance, you might be a helicopter parent. If you are at all concerned that you might be a helicopter parent, you probably are a helicopter parent. Being a “helicopter parent” is not healthy for your child, their team, or for you.
This condition can be cured with a simple commitment. All you have to do, is support your kid! That’s it. Don’t try to be your son or daughter’s coach. Don’t critique their every play. Don’t blame coaches or make excuses for undesirable outcomes. Just support. Tell them good game and be done with it. Support their efforts to become the best teammate, possible. This will go a long way toward creating a coachable, respectful, committed athlete. And that goes a long way with college coaches.
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The following is a comment from Jonathan Davis in the original USA Today posting.....
Couple of things to add!
1) When looking for objective feedback about your child, take the travel club coach's comments with a grain of salt. Remember, you're paying them so it's in their best interest to tell you what you want to hear.
2) Don't email college coaches on your child's behalf. It's shows that you (not your child) are a potential headache and that your child isn't a self-starter.
3) Discipline your child and generally support your child's high school or travel club's decisions. Without consequences, the behavior that required discipline won't change and is likely to repeat itself in college. College coaches don't want to recruit headaches or problems to their campuses/practices.
And, not really related.....
4) Thank your child's high school coach repeatedly. The tiny stipends they receive are insulting considering the time comment (time away from their children) and the headaches they have to deal with. If you show gratitude, your child might also, which will increase the chances of the coach having a favorable opinion of your child, which is good if you're going to ask for their help in the recruiting process.
